Animula, vagula, blandula

Hospes comesque corporis

Quae nunc abibis in loca

Pallidula, rigida, nudula,

Nec, ut soles, dabis iocos.

Gehöre keiner Schule an
Und keiner neuen Richtung,
Bin nur ein armer Großstadtspatz,
Im Wald der deutschen Dichtung.
Weiß Gott, ich bin ganz unmodern.
Ich schäme mich zuschanden:
Zwar liest man meine Verse gern,
Doch werden sie – verstanden.

Who made the world? 
Who made the swan, and the black bear? 
Who made the grasshopper? 
This grasshopper, I mean - 
the one who has flung herself out of the grass, 
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand, 
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down - 
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes. 
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face. 
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away. 
I don't know exactly what a prayer is. 
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down 
into the grass, how to kneel in the grass, 
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields, 
which is what I have been doing all day. 
Tell me, what else should I have done? 
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon? 
Tell me, what is it you plan to do 
With your one wild and precious life?

I saw a seagull,

White against the

blue

Of sky and sea below.

He called to me

And cried, "Hello!"

And said ...

"Why are you

earthbound,

Friend? When you

Can soar in mind

As high as I!"

"For in your sky,

Inside of you,

You're limitless!"

"So be with me

And fly!"

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow -
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand -
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep - while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

Liebe das Leben, und denk an den Tod!
Tritt, wenn die Stunde da ist, stolz beiseite.
Einmal leben zu müssen,
heißt unser erstes Gebot.
Nur einmal leben zu dürfen,
lautet das zweite.

Und hast du studiert auch bei Tag und
bei Nacht,

und hast du es auch zum Gelehrten
gebracht,

zwei Dinge erfassest du nimmer und
nie:

Die Frau'n und die deutsche
Orthographie.

Wir wohnen
Wort an Wort

Sag mir
Dein liebstes
Freund

Meines heißt
Du

When you get all you want and you struggle for pelf,

and the world makes you king for a day,

then go to the mirror and look at yourself

and see what that man has to say.

For it isn't your mother, your father or wife

whose judgment upon you must pass,

but the man, whose verdict counts most in your life

is the one staring back from the glass.

He's the fellow to please,

never mind all the rest.

For he's with you right to the end,

and you've passed your most difficult test

if the man in the glass is your friend.

You may be like Jack Horner and "chisel" a plum,

And think you're a wonderful guy,

But the man in the glass says you're only a bum

If you can't look him straight in the eye.

You can fool the whole world,

down the highway of years,

and take pats on the back as you pass.

But your final reward will be heartache and tears

if you've cheated the man in the glass.

In der Capuletti Vigna graben

Gärtner, finden einen Marmorknaben,

Meister Simon holen sie herbei,

Der entscheide, welcher Gott es sei.

Wie den Fund man dem Gelehrten zeigte,

Der die graue Wimper forschend neigte,

Kniet' ein Kind daneben: Julia,

Die den Marmorknaben finden sah.

"Welches ist dein süßer Name, Knabe?

Steig ans Tageslicht aus deinem Grabe!

Eine Fackel trägst du? Bist beschwingt?

Armor bist du, der die Herzen zwingt?"

Meister Simon, streng das Bild betrachtend,

Eines Kindes Worte nicht beachtend,

Spricht: "Er löscht die Fackel. Sie verloht.

Dieser schöne Jüngling ist der Tod."

Riff Raff:

It's astounding
Time is fleeting
Madness takes its toll
But listen closely

Magenta:

Not for very much longer

Riff Raff:

I've got to keep control
I remember doing the time warp
Drinking those moments when
The blackness would hit me

Riff Raff & Magenta:

And the voise would be calling

All:

Let's do the time warp again
Let's do the time warp again

Narrator:

It's just a jump to the left

All:

And then a step to the right

Narrator:

With your hands on your hips

All:

You bring your knees in tight
But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane
Let's do the time warp again
Let's do the time warp again

Magenta:

It's so dreamy
Oh fantasy free me
So you can't see me, no not at all
In another dimension
With voyeuristic intention
Well secluded
I see all

Riff Raff:

With a bit of a mind flip

Magenta:

You're into the time slip

Riff Raff:

And nothing can ever be the same

Magenta:

You've spaced out of sensation

Riff Raff:

Like you're under sedation

All:

Let's do the time warp again
Let's do the time warp again

Columbia:

Well I was walking down the street just having a think
When a snake of a guy gave me an evil wink
He shook-a me up, He took me by surprise
He had a pick up truck and the devil's eyes
He stared at me and I felt a change
Time meant nothing, never would again

All:

Let's do the time warp again
Let's do the time warp again

Narrator:

It's just a jump to the left

All:

And then a step to the right

Narrator:

With your hands on your hips

All:

You bring your knees in tight
But it's the pelvic thrust
That really drives you insane
Let's do the time warp again
Let's do the time warp again

Nasce l'alba su di me
mi lascia andare al tuo respiro
e mi accompagno con i ritmi tuoi
ti sento in giro ma dove sei
con tutte quelle essenze che ti dai
non so chi sei non sudi mai sei sempre
piu lontano
voglio il tuo profumo
uoglio il tuo profumo
voglio il tuo profumo
dammi tutto il tuo sapore
no ti prega no non ti asciugare
se nella notte hai ancora un brivido
animale
sai di vento sai di te
sulla tua pelle addormentata
e mi accarezzo coi vestiti tuoi
ti sento addosso ma dove sei
nella mia stanza calda tu sei tu
stringimi ancora un po' di più di più
di più la mano
voglio il tuo profumo
voglio ii tuo profumo
voglio il tuo profumo
dammi tutto il tuo sapore
no ti prego non ti insaponare
se nella none hai ancora un brivido
animale
voglio il tuo profumo
voglio il tuo profumo
dammi tutto il tuo sapore
no ti prego non ti insaponare
se nella notte hai ancora un brivido
animale
voglio il tuo profumo
tutto il tuo profumo
voglio il tuo profumo
dammi il tuo profumo

And I could easily fall from grace
Then another would take my place
For the chance to behold your face

As the days of my life are but grains of sand
As they fall from your open hand
At the call of the wind's command

Many words are spoken when there's nothing to say
The fall upon the ears of those who don't know the way
To read between the lines, that lead between the lines, that lead me to you

All that I ask you
Is, show me how to follow you and I'll obey
Teach me how to reach you I can't find my own way
Let me see the light, let me be the light

As the sun turns slowly around the sky
Till the shadow of night is high
The eagle will learn to fly

As the days of his life are but grains of sand
As they fall from your open hand
And vanish upon the land

Many words are spoken when there's nothing to say
The fall upon the ears of those who don't know the way
To read between the lines, that lead between the lines, that lead me to you
Show me how to follow you and I'll obey
Teach me how to reach you I can't find my own way
Let me see the light, let me be the light
And so, with no warning, no last goodbye
In the dawn of the morning sky
The eagle will rise again

'Allo, I'm-a Giuseppe, I got-a something special-a for you, ready?

Uno, duo, tre, quatro

When I was a boy, just about the eighth-a grade, Mama used to say don't stay out-a late with the bad-a boys, always shoot-a pool, Giuseppe going to flunk-a school.

Boy, it make-a me sick, all the t'ing I gotta do I can't-a get-a no kicks, always got to follow rules.

Boy, it make-a me sick, just to make-a lousy bucks.

Got to feel-a like a fool and-a mama used to say all-a time.

What's-a matter you? Hey! Gotta no respect.
What-a you t'ink you do? Why you look-a so sad?
It's-a not so bad, it's-a nice-a place.

Ah, shaddap you face!

That's-a my mama, I can remember.

Ah! Play dat again, Really nice, really nice!

Soon-a come-a day, gonna be a big-a star.

Den I make-a TV shows and-a movies.
Get-a myself a new car, but still I be myself I don't want-a to change a t'ing, still a-dance and a-sing.

I t'ink about-a mama, she used to say:

What's-a matter you? Hey! Gotta no respect.
What-a you t'ink you do? Why you look-a so sad? It's-a not so bad, it's-a nice-a place.

Ah, shaddap you face

Mama, she said it all-a da time.
What's-a matter you? Hey! Gotta no respect.
What-a you t'ink you do? Why you look-a so sad?
It's-a not so bad, it's-a nice-a place.

Ah, shaddap you face

That's-a my mama!

Hello, everybody!
'At's out-a dere in-a radio and-a TV land.
Did you know I had a big-a hit-a song in-a Italy with-a disc Shaddap you face?

I sing-a dis-a song, all-a my fans applaud.
Dey clap-a da hands, dat-a make me feel-a so good
You ought to learn-a dis-a song, it's-a real-a simple.
See, I sing: "what's-a matter you?"
You sing: "Hey!"
Den I sing-a da rest and den at de end, we can all-a sing: "Ah, Shaddap you face!"

Ok, let's-a try it, really big!

Uno, duo, tre, quatro

What's-a matter you? Hey! Gotta no respect. Hey!
What-a you t'ink you do? Hey!
Why you look-a so sad? Hey!
It's-a not so bad. Hey! It's-a nice-a place.
Ah, shaddap you face!

Ok, one more-a time for mama!

What's-a matter you? Hey! Gotta no respect. Hey! What-a you t'ink you do? Hey!
Why you look-a so sad? Hey!
It's-a not so bad. Hey! It's-a nice-a place.
Ah, shaddap you face!

It must be love, I'm feeling
This must be love
Oh this must be love, I'm feeling
This must be love

Well I wait in every day, just in case,
You decide to call
And I can hardly wait, 'cos I never thought time could pass so slowly

It must be love, I'm feeling
This must be love
Oh this must be love, I'm feeling
This must be love

Happiness is something I never thought I'd feel again, but now I know
It's you that I've been looking for
And day by day more and more
I know what you think, you've heard it before
Don't tell me I know
But this feeling inside my heart,
You know I'm never letting go
'Cos I think that...

It must be love, I'm feeling
This must be love
Oh this must be love, I'm feeling
This must be love

Words can only say so much
It's hard to express
The things you do to me
You're everything I could ever dreamed you'd be

This must be love, I'm feeling
This must be love
Oh this must be love, I'm feeling
This must be love...

Babe, I'm leaving, I must be on my way
The time is drawing near
My train is going, I see it in your eyes
The love, the need, your tears
But I'll be lonely without you
And I'll need your love to see me through
So please believe me, my heart is in your hands
And I'll be missing you.

Cause you know it's you babe
Whenever I get weary and I've had enough
Feel like giving up
You know it's you babe
Giving me the courage and the strength I need
Please believe that it's true
Babe, I love you.

You know it's you babe
Whenever I get weary and I've had enough
Feel like giving up
You know it's you babe
Giving me the courage and the strength I need
Please believe that it's true
Babe, I love you.

Babe I'm leaving, I'll say it once again
Somehow try to smile
I know the feeling we're trying to forget
If only for a while
Cause I'll be lonely without you
And I'll need your love to see me through
But please believe me, my heart is in your hands
Cause I'll be missing you
Babe I love you.
Babe I love you.
Oooohhhhh babe

Here's a little song I wrote
you might want to sing it note for note
don't worry be happy
in every life we have some trouble
but when you worry you make it double
don't worry be happy don't worry be happy now

Don't worry be happy don't worry be happy
don't worry be happy don't worry be happy

Ain't got no place to lay your head
somebody came and took your bed
don't worry be happy
the landlord say your rent is late
he may have to litigate
don't worry be happy look at me I'm happy

Don't worry be happy here I give you my phone number
when you worry call me I make you happy
don't worry be happy

Ain't got no cash ain't got no style
ain't got no girl to make you smile
but don't worry be happy
'cause when you worry your face will frown
and that will bring everybody down
so don't worry be happy don't worry be happy now

Don't worry be happy don't worry be happy
don't worry be happy don't worry be happy
don't worry don't worry don't do it be happy
put a smile on your face don't bring everybody down like this
don't worry it will soon pass whatever it is
don't worry be happy I'm not worried I'm happy

Do you remember once upon a time when you were mine
the stars above were bright and new I pulled them down for you
just when I fell in love again you said that all good things must end

Baby that's just the way it is baby oh oh
baby that's just the way it is baby

I've never had a hand for solitaire it's so unfair
that I should have my chance and lose I feel like I've been used
to help you through another night you've spelled it out in black and white

Baby that's just the way it is baby oh oh
baby that's just the way it is baby

The tides that once had carried you away might bring you back today
the time has washed away my pain you'll find that things have changed
and disappeared without a trace you can't get back what you've erased

And I say baby that's just the way it is baby (that's just the way it is)
baby that's just the way it is baby (oh that's just the way it is)
baby that's just the way it is baby (ooh)
baby that's just the way it is baby (that's just the way it is)

Baby that's just the way it is baby
baby that's just the way it is baby baby
baby that's just the way it is baby
baby that's just the way it is baby

Baby baby that's just the way it is baby
baby that's just the way it is baby
baby baby that's just the way it is baby

Ain't no use in crying
Stay away from me

Ain't no use in crying
Stay away from me

Ain't no use in crying
Stay away from me

Standing in the kitchen
Looking way out cross the fields
You see a face in the window
It's not real, it's not real

Ain't no use in crying
Stay away from me (stay away)
Ain't no use
Ain't no use
Ain't no use

Ain't no use
Stay away from me (stay away)

Ain't no use in crying
Stay away from me (stay away)

Standing in the station
Gazing down the track
There ain't no train coming baby
I ain't never, never coming back

Standing on the balcony
Looking way out towards cross the sea
If you see your ship come a sailing
It's not me, it's not me
It's not me

Stay away from me
Hey you

Ain't no use, ain't no use
Stay away from me
Ain't no use in crying
Stay away from me

What is a Valentine's Day?

How do you call a beautiful lady in London?

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.

After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'

'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'

At the golf course one Sunday, a golfer is about to putt, when a funeral procession turns the corner just off the course and begins to roll by. The golfer straightens up from his putter, takes his hat off, and holds it over his heart. He stands there silently like that, facing the procession, until it passes. Then he bends over again and makes his putt.

"That was a very thoughtful gesture," a member of his foursome says to him as they walk towards the next tee.

"You are one compassionate guy."

"Thank you," replies the golfer. "We would have been married 25 years next Tuesday."

A man walks into a bar. He sees a good looking, smartly dressed woman perched on a bar stool.

He walks up behind her and says: "Hi there good looking, how's it going?"

She turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eyes and says: "Listen, I'll screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, it doesn't matter. I've been doing it ever since I got out of college. I just flat out love it."

He says: "No kidding?, I'm a lawyer too! What firm are you with?"

Herr Müller ist gestorben. Statt aber die Urne auf dem Friedhof beizusetzen, nimmt sie seine Witwe mit nach Hause und füllt die Asche in eine große Sanduhr um. "So, mein Lieber", sagt sie befriedigt, "ab heute wird gearbeitet."

A preacher was walking down the street when he came upon a group of boys, all between 10 and 12 years of age. The group surrounded a dog. Concerned that the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked, "What are you doing to that dog?"

One of the boys replied, "He's just an old neighbourhood dog. He doesn't have an owner. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that whoever can tell the biggest fib will get to keep the dog."

The reverend was shocked. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest to see who can tell the biggest fib!" he exclaimed. "Don't you boys know that's a sin? When I was your age, I never fibbed!"

There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the preacher thought the boys understood the virtues of telling the truth, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said:

"All right, give him the dog."

Vincent left to go help in the Crusades and decided that his wife Vicky should wear a chastity belt (steel underwear). So he locks her up and gives the key to his best friend, Robert, who lives in the neighborhood.

He tells him, "I hope to be back in two years time, if I'm not back in four years, unlock my wife and set her free to live a normal life."

So, Vincent leaves and drives off towards the airport to catch his flight ... about half an hour later, he checks another speeding vehicle right behind him seriously flashing lights. At first he was hesitant to stop but later stopped.


Robert jumps out and runs to Vincent's car.

"What's wrong?" Vincent asks.

Robert replies. "You gave me the wrong key!"

A German guy approaches a prostitute.

"I vish to buy zex vit you"

"OK" says the girl, "I'll charge £50 an hour".

"Ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky".

"No problem", she replies cautiously, "I can do a little kinky". So off they go to the girls flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller. "I vant you to tie ze springs to each of your limbs". The girl finds this most odd, but complies, fastening the springs to her hands and knees.

"Now you vil get on your hans und knees".

She duly does this, balancing on the springs.

"You vill please blow Zis vistle as I make love to you."

She finds this odd, but figures its harmless, and the guy is paying. The sex is fantastic. She is bounced all over the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duckcaller. The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced, and it is several minutes before she has recovered the breath to say:

"That was totally amazing, what do you call that?"

"Ah", says the German, "Fourspring duck technique!"

(to be correctly pronounced like that: "Vorsprung durch Technik")

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

"House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa". "Pencil", however, is masculine: "el lápiz."

A student asked what gender is "computer"?

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

...

A man, sitting outside his home about to be evicted from his house, was contemplating how the future would be. He had divorced his wife, lost his children, lost his job ...

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

Warum können Frauen nicht skifahren?

Another crisis in Africa. The EU decides to sent out a so called Fact Finding Team.

...

Zwei Rechtsanwälte gehen in der Mittagspause im Park spazieren.

Plötzlich kommt ein junger Mann atemlos auf sie zugestürzt und wirft einem der Juristen vor: "Ihr Hund hat soeben meine Hose zerrissen."

Der Angesprochene gibt ihm ohne große Diskussion 200€ für den Kauf einer neuen Hose.

Als der junge Mann wieder weg ist, fragte der Kollege erstaunt: "Seit wann hast du denn einen Hund?"

Der Rechtsanwalt antwortet: "Ich habe keinen Hund, aber man weiß ja nie, wie die Gerichte entscheiden."

Wife: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."

Husband: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."

Wife: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."

Husband: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?"

Wife: "In the pool."

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" said my wife, "who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. Despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem happy to maintain the old custom.

Mrs. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you now seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?"

The woman looked Mrs. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, "Land mines."

Ein Hund kam in eine Metzgerei und stahl einen Braten. Glücklicherweise erkannte der Metzger den Hund als den eines Nachbarn, eines Anwalts.

...

A police officer pulls over this guy who's been weaving in and out of the lanes.

...

We should conduct ourselves not as if we ought to live for the body, but as if we could not live without it.

Anything worth having is worth waiting for!

The shifts of fortune test the reliability of friends.

Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter, try again, fail again, fail better.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must.

People with courage and character always seem sinister to the rest.

Where is there dignity unless there is honesty?

That's the secret to life ... replace one worry with another ...

Whenever you commend, add your reasons for doing so; it is this which distinguishes the approbation of a man of sense from the flattery of sycophants and admiration of fools.

Love that is not madness is not love.

Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.

Treat people as if they were what they should be, and you help them become what they are capable of becoming.

The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer.

He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying.

To be or not to be. That's not really a question.

People can have the Model T in any colour - so long as it's black.

For the things we have to learn before we can do them, we learn by doing them.

Be happy. It's one way of being wise.

How much easier it is to be critical than to be correct.

I'll have what she's having.

To alcohol! The cause of ... and solution to ... all of life's problems.

Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today.

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

Nobody moves! I dropped my brain.

It's not the years, honey. It's the mileage.

Du Norbert, da hockt ein nackter Hetero auf deinem Wohnzimmertisch und grunzt.

You don't understand! I could've had class. I could've been a contender. I could've been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am.

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time ... like tears in rain. Time ... to die.

Everybody's got a little baggage ... I drink and try to mouth kiss hookers.

I'm Al Gore, I used to be the next president of the United States of America.

I was cured, all right!

Tomorrow the birds will sing.

I’m an ordinary man who desires nothing more than just an ordinary chance to live exactly as he likes and do precisely what he wants.

You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese in Paris? ... They call it a Royale with cheese.

We are who we are; even if we sometimes forget it.

All right, brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like me – so let’s just do this and I’ll get back to killing you with beer.

There’s an old joke. Um … two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of ‘em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." Well, that’s essentially how I feel about life – full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it’s all over much too quickly.

I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.

I don't care how rich he is, as long as he has a yacht, his own private railroad car, and his own toothpaste.